This cup of coffee could have KILLED me.

And I don't just mean because of the caffeine. But rather, because this cup of coffee was made HERE:




Yesterday, I got in the mail a piece of correspondence, addressed to me, by name. And the note inside read:

Do Not Use Certain Coffee Makers

This is because out of 529,000 such coffee makers, thirteen "incidents" involving fire have occurred.

To make it up to me, the company will replace my coffee-scarred, three-or-so-year-old, needing-to-be-replaced coffee maker with a brand new coffee maker of higher caliber and fancier design, or with like a toaster or else a FOOD PROCESSOR with an actual uncracked bowl.

THIS IS AMAZING. And to be clear, what's amazing here is that apparently I didn't throw away the registration card when I bought the coffee maker, but rather FILLED IT OUT. AND PUT A STAMP ON IT. AND ALSO SENT IT IN.