Pish Tosh

Friday, February 11

Georgia

So. Yes. I had a fight. The dialogue went something like this:

Former friend: Hey. What's up? I miss you.
Me: Hey.
Me: (on my blog.) This chick wrote me. Last time I talked to her, she totally called me a bitch because I got a job and told her. Now she's writing me and I feel ambivalent.
Me: Hey former friend. I wrote about you on my blog. I said I was ambivalent.
Her: No prob! I know you didn't know we were going to read your blog. No prob.
Me: Wow. Great! Maybe we really can be friends.
Her: Okay. Actually I just read your blog? And now YOU ARE BEING A BITCH AND MY DAD IS DYING AND I AM NOT NEEDY SO FUCK YOU.
Me: Uhm, okay, but remember, I already apologized. I'm sorry about your dad. But why does that give you leave to call me a bitch.
Her: Well, now I'm all nice and I even complimented Dude I Used to Make Fun Of. I realized how all our squabbles are petty.
Me: (totally letting out all the sarcasm stops) Oh, wow, I'm sure that totally made up for making fun of him for two years! You mean now you're a saint and I get to be a party to your virtue? Lucky me. And I guess the implication is that since *you're* no longer petty *I'm* the petty one.
Her: Never talk to me again.
Me: Gladly. And, since I don't usually tell anyone why I'm mad at you, here's EVERY REASON I AM MAD AT YOU. First of all, you were man. Second of all, you made me move all your stuff BY MYSELF but never bought me dinner to make up for it. Third of all, I told you I had gotten a job, because I was ASTOUNDED, and you yelled at me for bringing up money. Fourth of all, you used to try to get me to work for you at your stupid minimum wage job all the time. Fifthly, you're mean to everyone and always put people down and that's why I don't like talking to you. Sixthly, you never apologized. For being so shitty. Seventhly, you think you're a good friend because you get supeficial compliments but that's IT. So there.



The thing is, I never tell people off. IT FELT SO GOOD. But then my site started getting a lot of traffic. From home. And now, apparently, former colleagues as far away as Georgia have heard about my "fight."

OKAY. THIS PERSON WROTE TO ME, CALLED ME A BITCH FOR MY BLOG, AND THEN I TOLD HER OFF. That's what happened. It's no big. She's a fun person in a lot of ways. But she took advantage of me, and I'm still mad at her for that. And if she tells me this is petty, I'm still mad at her. And that's why I haven't written to HER. Because I'm still mad.

So you know, when YOU write to ME? And then I say "I wrote about you on my blog and I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive" and then she writes back "No prob" and then she writes back "You're passive aggressive, and a bitch, and your ego gets in the way of your being friends with women," and then I write back "okay, but how do you know about my friendships with women who aren't you, and I've already written back to you about the blog," and then you write "never speak to me again" and then I write "here's why I think you're mean and, yes, a bitch".... Well the point is, YOU wrote to ME. FIRST.

So any of you who've heard her side of the saga: yes. We are apparently still in junior high. And yes. This person called me a bitch AFTER I HAD ALREADY ACKNOWLEDGED MY BLOG to her.

And if you know me and live in Georgia? Dude, drop me an e-mail! I'd love to chat!!

3 Comments:

At 6:01 PM, Blogger German said...

i don't live in Georgia but would like to chat. Whaddya think? But i'm also into drama-as-publicity so i'm willing to stage fights or friendships of any kind in order to get readers. so to whom it may concern: i'm willing to call or be called a bitch. and if you want some dirt on Blurt--i'm your man.

and, um, Hi Blurt! what's up? um, i didn't meant that what i just said (fingers crossed behind my back) up there. i'm your man. you can count on me.

oh, and i have some ideas on teaching but will be commenting a bit later.

stay tuned to Tony Wears a Tux for more drama!

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"First of all, you were man."

I think I know what you're trying to say, pretty pony, but isn't it an interesting typo?

 
At 3:31 PM, Blogger Evie P. said...

oops. You're right, anon. Vigorously self-justifying? Not a good editing mode :)

Though I'm trying to parse the typo but I don't know exactly how to interpret its apparent meaning. It's off, I think. I think I'M man.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home